To demystify the universal association of assertiveness with the ability to recite only decided to look at everyday situations in which assertive stance may prove to be useful.
thus I give you specific guidelines for assertive behavior.
Well, let me start from a situation in which assertiveness relates to your actions in defense of your rights.
This is the first situation:
you drove a bus. You press the button on the request and passing by the bus driver and did not even slow down.
What to do?
Exactly what to do? As always, you have several exits. Your action will depend on how far / near is the next stop, but also on what is your attitude to its own laws and rights of others.
To make it easier for us to suppose that the next stop is very far away.
Thus:
first You can assume that even though the bus is far more useful for you to walk and not doing anything a little ride. If you choose this option will keep the passively. ignore their own laws, respecting the right of the driver - the right to error.
second You can also assume that you need it instead of walking a little bit of adrenaline, the driver guide nierządnego alleged nature of the work of his mother or a guide to separating your social divide ("You probably do not know who you are dealing"). If you choose this option will keep the aggressive - stand up in defense of their rights, ignoring the right of the driver.
third You can also (especially in a crowded bus) Comment współpasażerom driver behavior, in the spirit of hoping that your monologue about the conspiracy theory of history in buses MZA universal cause a stir, thanks to which the driver realizes that should stop immediately. If you choose this option - keep up manipulacyjnie - used others to defend their rights.
4 is still possible - you can keep up assertively.
assertive action In this situation, is going to reconcile your rights and the rights of the driver.
To be able to work with your head so you should recognize the rights of people involved in the problem situation. This is the first step. Call it recognition.
Diagnosis
Recognize your rights, responding to the question "whether I was entitled to stop on demand" and recognize the rights of the other side by asking yourself the question "whether the driver had the right not to notice my request."
rights Diagnosis is a very important step - lets you keep in mind that both sides are equal.
If you hesitate because they're used to attract the attention of a stranger or a bus full of people we helped you to your decision. You will be confident that it will take you and not your fear. So
Ask yourself the question defining the decision problem, "which I prefer - ask the driver's attention, whether to go 2 km on foot" and decide.
will be able to go to the next step, unless you have going on foot ...
Preparation
Before the action you should have a plan, assertiveness is the action of the head.
So you have to answer the question "What do I get?", Because without it you can unnecessarily waste your energy.
It is very important so I carefully listen to their responses.
If you hear "get out as quickly as possible," you can go to the next step.
But if you hear "show him (the driver), where the crabs hibernate" is in the interests of his health back to the first step, and repeating the procedure remember what you wanted to get the press "on demand". This will help for sure.
Action
This is the easiest step of assertive action.
Going through the first two steps dbałeś for your comfort, time to take care of your effectiveness - the realization of what you have established.
will attain its goal is to communicate what you care about having the right driver for the error and possible bans stopping up.
"I turned on the button on the request, but you probably did not notice. Please stay on the first occasion where would you stand? "
or consistently Remember, remember your goal, so beware of questions like" Could you stop? "Because they provoke up to tell you NO.
Easy right?
not only easy. Also beneficial.
Assertive response is not merely allow you to get the best effect, but also positively affect your emotions, an omission stop on demand is not a "scandal", the reason to insult the driver nor the opportunity to poison współpasażerom life just is not worth anything to worry about - so try to take care of their rights and just forget about everything.
Because that's the point.
PS: If you have an interesting situation about which you would like more assertive action model, please send me information on the contact (s) Bart-stolarczyk.pl - I'm happy to help you describe it on his blog (I assure you complete discretion.)
0 comments:
Post a Comment