- I'm sorry.
- Nothing happened.
these words pass us by the throat, quite casually. We consider not even when they speak. Ot element of good manners. And when someone asks if we forgive, bearing in mind the elementary good manners, of course, to answer in the affirmative. But in these everyday situations is really anything to forgive? When
exists a need for an apology and forgiveness? Apologies and forgiveness are two sides of a single act - reconciliation. Reconciliation, or the restoration of unity. It follows that something must be separated in order to restore this unity. Or accidental knocking someone on the bus, or the ball accidentally hitting the neighbor's window causes splitting, or breaking something?
When we talk about the break we need to be thinking of breaking the bond that connects me with another man. If you met the person who is random, it is difficult even to talk about relationships. If she is, it is so weak that it is indeed this type of stupidity can lead to its rupture, but also reconciliation does not require any extraordinary gestures. In this case the trite excuse - nothing happened can repair the tarnished relationship and restore it to ordinary human kindness. However, in this case, reconciliation is not a unique achievement, and based on such events, it is difficult to identify yourself as a person who forgives.
When the bond between two people is stronger, nobody is probably silly to apologize for accidentally touching or any other trivial operation carried out unintentionally. Because what a mature relationship may suffer from such a reason. Unity goes on, so no need for reconciliation. However, the question is complicated really, when you close wyrządzimy real evil person. And rarely is a problem lay in the very essence of that particular act, but in nadszarpniętym trust. Suddenly, the other person becomes distrustful and move away from each other tearing bond.
Is courtesy a "sorry" to repair the damage? Not at all, or even just the opposite. There are no adequate repentance means that either do not understand the damage that wyrządziliśmy, or treat someone close, like a random person, and we believe that the bond was so weak that we can easily repair it. So what is needed for reconciliation?
The first step is definitely a reason to run and try to find the essence of the problem and the effects experienced by the other person. If the relationship is strong, is to understand the problem, should arouse in us an authentic remorse - a shrill cry of pain arising as a result of wounds they inflicted another person. Understanding and regret the error analysis will lead to his own mistake and try to eliminate him because he felt the pain, I'm sure I'll do my best not to feel it again. If we can successfully wade through these stages, it may finally be ready to say "sorry" with adequate seriousness of the situation and the conviction that we want to fix what spoiled. This is only for recovering trust the other person and be reconciled in a further enhanced through the experience of the relationship.
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